This year, my first social media account will turn 18 years old. Over the course of 18 years, if I used social media on average 60 minutes per day (and we all know it is more than that), I have spent almost 400,000 hours scrolling, sharing, posting, and messaging my “friends.” I have to wonder what I have missed out on in those almost half a million hours of my life. 

I resisted joining social media until my friends created my first Facebook profile. They posted as me, sent friend requests as me, and built my presence on social media without my knowledge for months. When I found out, I was hurt, angry, and defeated and asked them to delete the account, but they convinced me to change my mind. At the time, I felt I had no other choice than to keep the account and I slowly began creating my online “personality.”

Today it feels as if “everyone” is on social media and it is of cultural importance to be active or you will be left behind. I hear it in how people speak, what people reference, how we learn, how businesses market, and what will set the foundation for cultural references years in the future. Like anything, social media is not all good or all bad, however I know I am not alone in being tired of the endless content, pressure to perform, and group conformity social media encourages. 

Since the COVID 19 shut down, I have noticed my use of social media, and my phone usage in general, becoming compulsive, and not at all aligned with my values. It has skewed my view of the world, my relationships, my career, and even my sense of self. At the start of this year, with more and more concerns about the accuracy of what is allowed and shared through social media, I decided I was done. 

Since stopping daily use of social media in January 2025, I have noticed:

• I am more playful, present, and curious
• I laugh more and tell more jokes
• I am less depressed, irritable, and distant
• I am reviewing my life, my memories, and the people who make living meaningful without filtering my experiences as “good” or “bad”
• I am more intentional about who I reach out to and what I share with them
• I send more pictures with my texts, schedule more calls, and I spend quality time IN PERSON with the people who matter most to me
• I am more MYSELF

Since January, I have also felt left out, thought “what’s the point, I will get back on it anyway,” and have to repeatedly tell people I am not on social media. Saying “I am not on social media” makes me feel haughty and even writing this blog posts feels counter to this intention of living by my values without input from others. I share all this to say, this is not the first time I have “quit” social media and it has tested my self-discipline to work towards a future goal and not reach for the immediate gratification of my phone.

This is all worth it to me to live by my values and choose myself first.

In both Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and the Yoga Sutras, there is a focus on being present, identifying stuck points and removing them, and living by chosen values or principles. Within ACT, these values are self-determined and help guide the actions we take, and often point to areas where we are using something to “move away” from or avoid discomfort.

Some of my top values are health, service to others, play, honesty, independence, flexibility, adventure, spirituality, cooperation, education, and contentment. No wonder time on social media created such angst in me; it took away from many of these values, and I feel more aligned without having to keep an active presence online. 

The Sutras present the 5 Yamas and 5 Niyamas as the first two “steps” of the Eight Fold Path. These are ethical and more principles to follow on the path to self-realization. The two Yamas that have felt most impacted by my social media use are Satya (truthfulness) and Bramacharya (right use of energy). I was not honoring my true self by spending time absently and out of fear of missing out on social media and subscribing to other people’s ideas of a good life. 

The two Niyamas I was avoiding through social media use were Tapas (discipline) and Svadyaya (self-study). No matter how many times I told myself, or other’s told me, I was miserable on social media, I kept going back. Why? This is not a simple answer, however it allowed me to abandon myself, and create distance from stressors versus facing them head on and practicing acceptance of my emotions and my life as it is.

The reality is, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to avoid the pain of life and that creates our greatest suffering. Letting go of the struggle I have with social media is one way of taking back my power and living out my values. Without social media, things are not as stressful to manage as I thought. I am lighter, I can address issues head on without an escape route, and the “bad” really isn’t that bad when balanced by the joy and happiness life offers too. 

*Created without the use of AI or other editing software. My intention is to prioritize being human and normalize vulnerability and making mistakes. I don’t want to be perfect anymore.*